The DWord Divorce Through a Child Eyes Tara Eisenhard 9781475931396 Books
Download As PDF : The DWord Divorce Through a Child Eyes Tara Eisenhard 9781475931396 Books
The DWord Divorce Through a Child Eyes Tara Eisenhard 9781475931396 Books
Divorce is often thought of as an "out-there" kind of experience. Not only does it shatter the image of the so called "normal" home, it is obvious to everyone. There is no hiding or covering up. What is not seen or readily understood, even by those going through this experience - or witnessing it closely - is the underlying turmoil for every person involved, interested onlookers included.Every person responds emotionally to divorce whether their connection is immediate or distant. The point made in this fictional narrative is that what counts most is how those emotions are managed. Divorce does not need to be a wrecking ball.
In The D-Word: Divorce through a Child's Eyes, the author, Tara Eisenhard, does a great job of exposing the underside of an ugly divorce. She takes us on a one year divorce journey through the eyes, or maybe I should say heart, of a preteen girl, Gina. Although Gina is the main character she is not alone. The author manages to illustrate a complex range of emotions stemming from a badly managed divorce and every character makes a contribution: The divorcing couple, female siblings, male siblings, younger and older siblings, friends of siblings who have experienced divorce and those who have not, friends of the divorcing couple, aunts, uncles, grandparents on both sides and even step relatives.
It is through Gina that readers will be sad, happy, defensive, angry and eventually relieved but all the other characters help fill out the picture.
It is all there. Parents becoming emotionally dependent on children. Grandparents who wish well but whose input only hurts. Friends who encourage rather than alleviate the friction. Children absorbing the blame and the responsibility.
Though the characters and the story line are fictional, their experiences are true to everyday life. Everyone can identify with one or more characters.
The book is not academic. The author does not bore us with the usual list of divorce stats and studies ad nauseam. Instead it is visceral and brilliantly portrays the heart and soul of divorce, both the bad and the good. It is fast paced but not a blur. It hurts to read but is helpful. Once I started reading I could not put it down.
Thankfully, the author does not moralize over the divorce issue and is, therefore, in a good position to make her point: Divorce does not have to be the emotionally crippling, soul destroying experience it ls made out to be. Kids do not have to be caught in the middle. Those getting divorced along with their friends and family do not have to take sides and vilify one another. To use Tara's word, instead of dissolving homes and destroying lives, divorce can produce an "evolution" of sorts, a rising above, a learning to be big, for every individual involved.
I recommend the book to any interested party. Those going through divorce, those supporting those going through divorce and those looking for a better way to resolve the problems. As a child of divorced parents, I found the book encouraging after the fact.
You'll find In Defense of Divorce: Why Marriage Should Never Be Saved At The Expense of a Life a complimentary read to the The D-Word: Divorce through a Child's Eyes.
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Tags : The D-Word: Divorce Through a Child's Eyes [Tara Eisenhard] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Intended to inform and inspire, The D-Word</i> is an honest, firsthand look at divorce and its ramifications. Parents,Tara Eisenhard,The D-Word: Divorce Through a Child's Eyes,iUniverse,1475931395,Fiction,Fiction - Psychological Suspense,Fiction Legal,Legal,Political legal thriller,FIC034000,FICTION General
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The DWord Divorce Through a Child Eyes Tara Eisenhard 9781475931396 Books Reviews
Tara Eisenhard's book is a must-read for children of divorce and their parents. A wide range of topics covered in this book include loyalty conflicts, the parentification of children of divorce, and the wound that can develop between a father and daughter post-divorce.
Ms. Eisenhard offers readers a firsthand account of the reasons why daughters are at a high risk of developing a rupture in the father-daughter relationship after divorce. One of the predictors of a father's relationship with his children after divorce is the mother's facilitation or obstruction of this relationship. Chapter nine, which describes Ms. Eisenhard's mother's awareness of how her own issues were impacting how she spoke negatively about her ex to her daughter, is powerfully written.
My own research supports the author's view of the importance of healing the father-daughter wound after divorce. It is critical for mothers to avoid letting their own anger or resentment toward their ex obstruct this relationship. In my opinion, a good relationship with an intimate partner is strongly tied to a woman's relationship with her father.
I highly recommend this informative and well written book to therapists,educators, and children of divorce and their parents. I'm an author, therapist, college instructor, and Huffington Post contributor.
Terry Gaspard, MSW, LICSW
Movingpastdivorce.com
Tara Eisenhard shares an honest first hand look at divorce through the eyes of twelve year old Gina, sharing its ramifications and also possibilities for families to evolve not dissolve through the process. The D- word addresses issues such as conflict, communication, alienation, attitudes, and ultimately moving on to find new ways to love. READ THIS BOOK to find how to ensure a cooperatively "conscious uncoupling" when separating from your spouse so you may still work as parents to support your children and each other. Learn that all relationships last as long as they must and there is no shame, blame, or guilt necessary when a relationship runs its course. Learn the modern day realistic approach to eliminate lots of pain, anger, and fustration over events thaat have to play out in a family's transformation. Excellent book for children, teenagers or parents going through a divorce process. The message is clear- it doesn't matter what a family looks like; what matters is love, respect, and human dignity.
For any parent who is being shut out of their child's life, this book gives you hope that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
After I read this book I contacted Tara to see if she personally experienced the events in this book. When she answered "No," I was blown away. Tara accurately portrayed what has and is happening to so many innocent children who are being emotionally torn from a loving mother or father with no justification and the damage that the alienating behavior has on the child. When a parent chooses to hate their former spouse more than they love their child, they rob their child of their childhood and place them in a state of relational trauma. It is hard to recover from this form of trauma without appropriate intervention.
The ending of this novel is what I have wished for my own child, but sadly, that will never happen.
I suggest that parents and counselors read this book and suggest their local and school libraries to include it in their reading choices.
Divorce is often thought of as an "out-there" kind of experience. Not only does it shatter the image of the so called "normal" home, it is obvious to everyone. There is no hiding or covering up. What is not seen or readily understood, even by those going through this experience - or witnessing it closely - is the underlying turmoil for every person involved, interested onlookers included.
Every person responds emotionally to divorce whether their connection is immediate or distant. The point made in this fictional narrative is that what counts most is how those emotions are managed. Divorce does not need to be a wrecking ball.
In The D-Word Divorce through a Child's Eyes, the author, Tara Eisenhard, does a great job of exposing the underside of an ugly divorce. She takes us on a one year divorce journey through the eyes, or maybe I should say heart, of a preteen girl, Gina. Although Gina is the main character she is not alone. The author manages to illustrate a complex range of emotions stemming from a badly managed divorce and every character makes a contribution The divorcing couple, female siblings, male siblings, younger and older siblings, friends of siblings who have experienced divorce and those who have not, friends of the divorcing couple, aunts, uncles, grandparents on both sides and even step relatives.
It is through Gina that readers will be sad, happy, defensive, angry and eventually relieved but all the other characters help fill out the picture.
It is all there. Parents becoming emotionally dependent on children. Grandparents who wish well but whose input only hurts. Friends who encourage rather than alleviate the friction. Children absorbing the blame and the responsibility.
Though the characters and the story line are fictional, their experiences are true to everyday life. Everyone can identify with one or more characters.
The book is not academic. The author does not bore us with the usual list of divorce stats and studies ad nauseam. Instead it is visceral and brilliantly portrays the heart and soul of divorce, both the bad and the good. It is fast paced but not a blur. It hurts to read but is helpful. Once I started reading I could not put it down.
Thankfully, the author does not moralize over the divorce issue and is, therefore, in a good position to make her point Divorce does not have to be the emotionally crippling, soul destroying experience it ls made out to be. Kids do not have to be caught in the middle. Those getting divorced along with their friends and family do not have to take sides and vilify one another. To use Tara's word, instead of dissolving homes and destroying lives, divorce can produce an "evolution" of sorts, a rising above, a learning to be big, for every individual involved.
I recommend the book to any interested party. Those going through divorce, those supporting those going through divorce and those looking for a better way to resolve the problems. As a child of divorced parents, I found the book encouraging after the fact.
You'll find In Defense of Divorce Why Marriage Should Never Be Saved At The Expense of a Life a complimentary read to the The D-Word Divorce through a Child's Eyes.
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